An old year, a new year

In an hour and fifteen minutes 2005 will officially end in this time zone, and we'll welcome a new year and a fresh start for 2006. I hate New Year's Eve, as a general rule. For me it is much like the Prom: much anticipated, thought about, and looked forward to, but it never quite delivers what it promises. I don't feel the need to spend the most money, have the very best time, or start my year with the world's worst hangover.

I do, however, like to take stock of my life at the end of a year. I like to acknowledge where I've been and think about where I'd like to go next. While worldwide 2005 was a shocker of a year, with tragic events and natural disasters around every corner, it was a GREAT year for this little Sullivan Family.

At the close of 2004 we knew we were dedicated to becoming parents, but we had no idea quite how or when that would all transpire. In the beginning of this past year we took our greatest leap of faith, and dedicated our time, hearts, souls, and minds to adoption. We researched and researched, then researched some more until we knew what path our adoption would take. We participated in what can only be called a scavenger hunt for documents and signatures and fingerprintings and letters of recommendation. We waited and waited and waited some more. And then - bliss! We got our referral, and we were told all about our little boy, our baby who was in Korea, with a gorgeous bald head and perfect skin, all ten fingers and all ten toes! Perfect apgar scores! A happy baby who smiles easily! Of course our baby would smile easily, we thought. Of course he is perfect!

And then we did the hardest thing of all. We waited for him to come home. And it was excruciating knowing he was out there across the world...although we knew he was loved very much by his foster family, it was terribly, terribly hard to know he was out there and we couldn't touch him or hold him. Planning his nursery, having baby showers, and buying cute little outfits helped dull the pain of the wait, but nothing could make it go away. We thought of him every hour of every day, we saw his cheeky little face in our dreams, and we counted the seconds as they ticked by until, one day, the phone rang, and our agency was on the line telling Brendan that our son was coming home! Words cannot describe the joy we felt!

And looking back, the joy we felt on that day was plain in comparison to every moment since he was placed in our arms. On July 26 we became parents, a family of three instead of a couple. The latter part of 2005 was spent in awe and sleep deprivation, hysterical fits of laughter (did we mention that H is super funny?) and weepy moments of happiness. Looking back, we were so unprepared for parenthood, for its blessings, its challenges, and its everyday hilarity. There was no way we could have been prepared for it, and that alone has made it all the more enjoyable.

2005 was a stellar year, and I am a little sad to see it go, but I would not stop the onset of 2006 for anything. In 2006 our baby will be one year old, he'll officially become our son when our adoption is finalized, and he'll become an American citizen. There are many more adventures in store for us, and I am looking forward to the journey, once again.

Happy New Year, all. This post is far too long, and it didn't really take the direction I thought it would, but Brendan is home, the traditional ball is about to drop, and there is kissing to be done.

Cheers!

Harrison's First Christmas

As you can imagine, this Christmas was a special one at the Casa de Sullivan. Harrison was
adorable as he looked at our lit Christmas tree and said "wow". [It's one of his only words, but he seems to use it very appropriately. For those of you wondering, other words include: Dada, Momom, whoa, achoo (like a sneeze), and hello. There might be others, but we don't recognize them yet.] We had a steady stream of visitors and holiday cheer, including all six of Harry's grandparents. We ate lots of yummy cookies and snacks, and had a few tasty beverages. Harry tried to eat the wrapping paper, tissue paper, and basically anything else he could get his hands on. He received many wonderful gifts, and Brendan and I said over and over that we needn't have bought him a thing! Santa brought him books, the Bee Bop Band in a drum, and new socks to keep his piggies warm.

Santa was good to Mom and Dad, too, and we've been spending our week listening to new CDs and playing with our fun new gadgets. We still feel we got the best present ever possible back in July, and most of our week has been spent enjoying him.

'Tis the morning of Christmas...

...and all through the house
only two creatures stir,
a mom and her mouse (er, rabbit).
The stockings are filled
and the tree has been lit
I sure hope the pants
I bought for The Dad will fit!


Ahh, poetry is not my thing. Harry was up quite a bit last night, but is finally sleeping well so I am enjoying a moment of peace before the houshold stirs and the coffee starts brewing. How very thankful I am, and how very blessed, to have this little family today.

Merry Christmas to you and yours...may you all have a moment of peace in which to count your blessings.

Harry Houdini, reincarnated

As witnessed earlier this week, Harry is pushing his boundaries around the house. He climbed the stairs, he's scrambling over our chairs, crawling into our cupboards, and he's trying like mad to get onto the couch. He wants to be up, uP, UP!!!

And yesterday he decided to be ouT, oUT, OUT! That's right, he climbed out of his pack'n'play, fell headfirst toward the floor, and broke his fall by hitting his head on the wheel on hthe way down. He's sporting some very red road rash on his forehead, but is otherwise fine. Brendan and I were much more traumatized by this than Harry was...our dear boy was actually a little pleased with himself, especially when we proceeded to read his favorite book to him repeatedly all day long (to soothe him, er, ourselves).

Our big question now is: How do we contain an avid climber? What if he climbs out of his crib? We're not ready for a toddler bed, as he's only ten months old. How will Mom shower and get dressed each day if she can't put him in something for a minute or two? Ladies and gentlemen, it's the end of an era, the Era of the Contained Baby. It was nice while it lasted, but things are going to have to change around here now...

Oh CHristmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

Today is the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year, and I am so happy it is here. After today we get more sunlight day by day until the snow melts back into water, soaks into the soil, and the world around us is reborn with the arrival of Spring. Today is also the first official day of Winter, so we have a long way to go.

The Winter Solstice is also the beginning of the Twelve Days of Christmas (December 21 through January 1) & the official start of holiday related festivities and traditions. In keeping with tradition Brendan and I took Harrison to cut down his first Christmas tree this past Saturday. After my rant about the Santa Claus photograph tradition I won't go into my feelings about cutting down a tree so we can decorate it and keep it in the house for a week, after which we toss it...I can justify it by saying trees are a renewable resource, we were supporting a local farmer and the local economy, and when we're done with it we put ours in the woods behind our house where wild critters can use it for habitat...and there's nothing quite like the smell of a real Christmas tree wafting through the house. We dressed Harrison in his new puffy snowsuit with matching booties, grabbed our saw, and headed into the trees of Stiles Farm in Fort Ann just as the sun was beginning to set over the mountains. It was a warm afternoon for the first time in weeks, and Harrison enjoyed the opportunity to be outside after so many days of being cooped up in the house.

We chose a smaller tree this year...last year we had to tie our tree up from the top because the it was a little too tall for the stand. Harrison looked at us like we were a little bit nuts as we carried our tree to the car and put it in...I guess seeing this for the first time would be strange! As we were leaving the tree farm the sun finally set, and the sky was amazing...the pictures really don't do it justice.

On the way home the lights on the slopes of West Mountain looked like a strand of Christmas lights, and our cozy little family of three snuggled a little further into our coats while the temperatures outside dropped. We sang along with the carols on the radio and counted our blessings the whole way home.

Adventures in stair climbing, or, Mom's first official heart attack.

I was on the phone for a little while this morning, and Harrison was playing at my feet with a ball of yarn from my knitting bag. And then he was halfway up the stairs! Within seconds, he moved from my feet to the stairs and then climbed them at lightning speed, chasing Charlotte of course. It's as though he'd watched the pups enough times to see how it's done, and then just decided to get up and do it. "Oh no!..." I thought as I raced to the scene, my baby's short life flashing before my eyes, "...he can't be climbing flights of stairs yet, he's only ten months old!" I made it to him before he fell to what I was sure would be his death, or at least major bodily harm, and when I made it to his side to catch him he laughed. Little stinker. I was shaking and scolding myself for bad parenting, and he thought it was a grand lark, something fun to be repeated later. I sat him down at my feet again, and he made a beeline for the stairs. We played this new game for a little while, and finally I gave him a bath as distraction. Quite obviously, it is time for us to buy some baby gates. And no more talking on the phone with one eye on the baby, I promise!

Santa, Baby

I've been having an inner debate for the last few weeks as we head into the full blown Christmas season: to have Harrison sit with Santa, or not to have him sit with Santa. It's a traditional American thing to do, I know, but in many ways it creeps me out. You go to the mall at this time of year and there is a line that stretches, seemingly to the horizon, of children with runny noses dressed in their Sunday best waiting to sit on the lap of a man their parents don't know who is dressed as a plump old elf. And then they have their photo taken with said stranger, and pass copies to all of their relatives who ooh and ahh over the cuteness of it all. If there is intelligent life on other planets, they probably avoid earth for reasons such as this!

Who is the man behind the mask? We all hope he's a nice grandfatherly type who finds this job something fun to break up the monotony of his retirement, or something along those lines. Do they do any sort of screening for the position? A background check? I know I must sound crazy and paranoid, but you never know who your neighbors really are, let alone the guy who plays Santa at the local shopping mall. We've all seen stories on the evening news about the guy/girl next door who turned out to be a murderer, child molester, etc. These things worry me now that I'm a mom...it turns out that motherhood makes you think twice about a lot of things that used to seem normal.

It also turns out that I'm not as cynical as I sound. While shopping yesterday with Harrison's Aunt Brooke, we ran into Santa. And there was no line at all, just one child ahead of us, and Harrison was the one with the runny nose. So I caved, and I now present to you, for your oohing and ahhing enjoyment, a photograph of Harrison sitting on Santa's lap, gazing with wonderment at his very bearded visage.





















Ooh! Ahh! He is so darned cute! I think he was actually trying to figure out a way to pilfer Santa's glasses, but to the naked (non-parental) eye he seems awe struck.

It wasn't so bad after all. I got over my fears of Santa being less-than-wholesome, and let my baby participate in this strange American tradition. It turns out that motherhood also teaches you to let go and enjoy the moment. He'll only be a baby once, after all.

A runny nose and a fat lip

After a few days of swapping germs with his cousins and our extended famillies, and almost a week of no naps and random bedtimes, Harrison is sick with a bad head cold. And, unlike most adults I know, he's smiling through it like it's no bother at all, except when we swoop in with a tissue to mop up his drippy face. When we must clean him up he screams at the top of his lungs and makes us feel like the worst parents in the world. But the alternative is...yuck. We've been giving him Benadryl to clear up his nose, but it makes him very sleepy and dopey. Poor little guy. I hate seeing him like this; even if he seems cheery I know it's no fun to lose the ability to breathe through your nose.

To top it all off Harrison pulled a chair over on himself just before bedtime and split his lip open...blood all over, screaming, tears, etc. It was awful. And I was two feet away but couldn't get there in time to stop it from happening. Brendan, who was working on the basement at the time of The Accident, rushed to our aid, cleaned up our boy, and hugged the poor mom who felt awful that she let this happen to her already ill child. We let him suck on an icecube, which helped stop the bleeding, made him smile with our endless games of peek-a-boo (his puffed out bottom lip still touched his top lip when he smiled...my poor baby), and promptly sent him to bed. We're hoping for a less dramatic, and less drippy, day tomorrow.

Coming soon....pictures of our basement project! Stay tuned...

Oh, I ate too much

Thanksgiving has come and gone...I have no pictures to share of Harrison eating his first turkey dinner because I forgot my camera. Shoot. Plus, he didn't really eat a lot of turkey, but he did enjoy the cranberry sauce and candied sweet potatoes. After five days of living with no schedule whatsoever, Harry is beyond tired and quite cranky. We're having a pajama day...watching tv, reading books, and playing with the "new to us" toys that cousin Molly brought him. And he's napping on a schedule today, no matter what! I insist!

In fact, he's napping now, so I'm going to make a pot of coffee, take a bath, and read a book that has no pictures of farm animals. And later on I'm going to get on the treadmill and work off some of that pumpkin pie!

Glimpses of Harry

Today Harrison and I went for a walk in lovely Crandall Park. He liked watching the ducks, and listened closely for the chickadees in the nearby trees. What a gorgeous day! It is somewhat warm here, which seems unusual for the Monday before Thanksgiving. If only the weather could stay this mild until Spring!

After our walk I gave Harrison a bottle while he was lounging in his carseat. The sun was shining in the window behind him, highlighting his hair, his cheeks, and his baby eyelashes. He looked so beautiful and perfect that I had to take a picture to capture him in this moment. I never want to forget a single detail of his babyhood (impossible, I know)...years from now I want to be able to recall the way his skin glowed in the sunlight, and the way laughed at me as I tried to snap pictures from every angle.

October photos

I haven't taken any great pictures this week, so I'm pulling some old ones (pre-blog) to share. These were taken October 2nd, 2005 during a week of the loveliest weather we had this year. Harrison was on the cusp of walking, but was so fascinated by the grass, leaves and flowers that he forgot to even try to take a step! Now, a month and a half later, it amazes me that he just stands and walks away. He does still sit down after a few steps...his record is six in a row, but I know any day now he'll just take off across the room, and I'll be left in his dust. He is no longer my infant, rather quite decidedly a toddler.

Thinking back to this time last year, Brendan and I had just decided to move forward with adoption, but we decided to wait until after the holidays to choose an agency, country, or program. I was so sad last year, watching all of my nieces and nephews and wondering when we'd have our child home with us. Little did I know that seven months from Thanksgiving 2004 our son would be in our arms! It has been a year of "firsts" for us, and this will be Harry's first Thanksgiving. Can you all guess what we're thankful for this year?

Drip, drip, drop.

One of Harrison's most favorite things is water...running water, dripping water, puddles of water, the bathtub, a swimming pool, etc. He'll take it in any form he can get, even ice, because hey, it's fun! Today as we were walking through downtown Saratoga it starting pouring rain on us, and when I looked at Harrison's face for his reaction I saw bliss...a huge smile, giggles, and arms waving with excitement! He even loves the rain! I see a very cute yellow rain slicker and umbrella in his not-too-distant future.

Below are pictures of 'tubby time', which is Harrison's happiest of his daily routines (closely followed by brushing his teeth, and no, I'm not kidding). When he's out and about crawling through the house we try to keep all the doors in our hallway closed, but every once in awhile the bathroom door is left ajar and he wiggles his way in, stands up and pounds on the edge of the tub. I just know he's thinking "somebody hoist me into this thing so I can play!" and he squeals with delight if we appease him. What a kid! I hope he always looks forward to bathing this much.

































Getting his ducks in a row (and fishies, hippos, etc.).

Sunday, lovely Sunday

What a gorgeous day! We had to get some outdoor chores done, so we bundled up our little bundle of joy and let him play in the sunshine. He loved the sound of the leaves as we ran through them to entertain him, and today was his first official ride in the Little Red Wagon Town and Country. Oh yes, our boy travels in style! He also stood solo for more than a minute, and tried to take steps in his sneakers (he didn't succeed). It was great to mix the chore of raking leaves with playtime with Harrison. He made the day so much fun!

It all happened at breakfast.

So this morning Harrison decided he likes his feet out of the high chair and worked for about ten minutes to get into this pose. Funny baby!

He was also seen giving Riley a "treat", which he is technically not allowed to do. This small boy has undone four years worth of Riley's good manners (a.k.a. NOT begging for food) in less than four months. Riley is now a prime beggar, and her begging is not reserved just for the child who feeds her Cheerios...she begs from us, from our friends, from strangers, etc. It's embarrassing, especially since she used to be our "good" dog. Charlotte, not pictured, does not bother to beg. Instead, she stands on her hind legs and sneaks food directly from Harrison's tray when we're not looking. For a short statured dog she has quite an impressive reach! No photos of these antics yet, as Charlotte is usually smart enought to get down when we catch her in the act.

Harrison has taken up gagging as a way to let us know that he is stressed, unhappy in his current setting, hungry, or just plain grumpy. It's gross, and sometimes makes Mom feel a little queasy herself. We're going to ask the Dr. about this at our well baby nine month checkup on Tuesday. Has anyone heard of this? Why would he choose to gag if screaming or crying would get the same effect? We've checked his mouth - there are no obstructions, and his tongue reamins its normal size. Huh.

Steps, smiles, and sleep.

One step here, two steps there, four steps in a row = walking! I know the first steps are supposed to be a momentous occasion, but Harrison's have been so gradual that we celebrate every time he manages to balance for a few in a row. His first "official" steps were taken a few weeks ago, when he was 8 mos. and 3 days old. We still haven't managed to catch any on film, but I am sure we'll have plenty of opportunity in the upcoming weeks once he gets the hang of it a little better.

One thing Harrison does with ease now is smile...he is such a good little smiler! We may be a little opinionated, but for us seeing him smile is like having sunshine turned on with a switch. It makes us feel good to know that he has adjusted to the point of an easy smile and a quick giggle. I wonder if parents with biological children think of smiling as such a big event at almost nine months of age...so many things that others take for granted are huge stepping stones for us.

And finally, I don't want to jinx anything, but he did sleep through the night for the last two nights!!!!!!!!! Oh, to get eight hours of sleep in a row was pure bliss for his exhausted parents! Funny, though, how finally getting good sleep just makes you realize how tired you really are. We are becoming accustomed to the bags beneath our eyes, and coffee and strong tea are our constant companions of late. Watching Harrison learn and grow is worth every sleepless night, though. We are so truly blessed!