I was seventeen, mere weeks away from beginning my senior year of high school. You were home from college for the summer and you had grown your hair out; when you let it down it twisted into the most beautiful, silky black curls. I was not looking to get into a relationship; more specifically speaking I did not want a long distance relationship at all, as the one I'd had the previous year had ended badly with me on the unfortunate side of hurt. Coming from a similar situation you weren't looking for a relationship either.
At a party of my ex-boyfriend's (the one who caused the hurt) we got to chatting and you asked for my phone number under the guise of wanting to look at some Grateful Dead bootleg tapes my late cousin had left my brother. We made plans to get together at my house. We spent about ten minutes looking at tapes, then spent the rest of the afternoon talking on my front stoop. The silences were comfortable. I talked you into going to a Crosby, Stills, & Nash concert at SPAC with me that night. It was our first date, more than 13 years ago now.
Five years and one month (give or take) after our first date, we married on the most beautiful of September days. The sky was that crisp blue that is only seen at the very end of summer, the leaves were just starting to change color, and there was a warm breeze that lifted my veil as I walked up the steps of the church. When I walked down the aisle to meet you at the altar, I smiled and waved to our families and friends, and my cheeks were already sore from smiling so much. I was more sure in that moment than I had ever been about anything before in my life, and perhaps since. I was completely, entirely happy, and without fear. If it weren't for bothersome gravity I am quite sure I would have floated up the aisle to meet you.
Looking back, we were practically babies when we met, with goals and dreams and ideas about life that had barely taken shape in our minds, let alone come to fruition, but I think I knew on that first date that I would love you. From that very first date you have felt like home to me, like the one place in the world where I could be myself, wholly and truly. Wherever you were was where I wanted to be. Later in our relationship I would picture the children we would have, twin girls with black ringlets to match the ones you cut off when you went for your first job interview, and boys with your same twinkly eyes and dimples.
So life didn't work out quite the way we imagined, but as I sit here by myself tonight (you are working 2nd shift...hello, stalkers) on the eve of our eighth wedding anniversary, I cannot imagine it working out any other way than this. The trials of our relationship, of our marriage, have made us stronger. I truly believe that we are better people for what we have been through together, and after all of these years you are still the one I want to call when something goes right or when something is wrong. I love waking up next to you, seeing your black hair, now sprinkled with a very distinguished-looking gray, sticking up with bed head. I love seeing our kids race each other to the back door when your car pulls in the drive after a long day at work, and watching your face change from harassed to delighted as you sweep each of them into your arms for a hug. I love having a beer with you on hot summer days, and talking about anything and everything, or simply saying nothing at all, just enjoying the comfortable silences. I love working on projects with you around our house, our very own home team striving to reach a common goal. I love you, the same as I did all of those years ago when I said "I will", although today it is a deeper, more refined love than it was then.
Happy Anniversary, B. Thank goodness neither of us paid any attention to what we thought we wanted 13 years ago. Thank goodness I found you, and you found me. Here's to us, and to the future! Cheers!
