The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

After waiting 20 1/2 hours to find out what she wanted, I talked to our agency director today. 
The good news is Hee Seon's ear infection has cleared up and she is ok to fly. 
The bad news, as our director put it, is the staff (of Eastern?) are at seminar this week, so she won't hear from them to get the ok to travel until Monday.  If we got the ok to travel on Monday, we could possibly leave on Wednesday and arrive in Seoul on Thursday.  We need to give Eastern a day or two of notice that we're coming in order to see if we can stay at the guest house or if we'll need to find a hotel, and to allow them time to arrange meetings with the foster mothers.  If we arrived on Thursday it would be in the evening, and then we could meet the foster moms and Dr. Kims on Friday, but then Eastern is closed for the weekend.  So really, it would make more sense to leave on Saturday, arrive on Sunday, and have Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday for whatever meetings and our flights home.  But that is Easter weekend, and I think that Eastern is a Christian foundation, with a good chance that things might be closed for the holiday.  So where does that leave us?  Stranded in Waiting Land, once again.
How do I feel in regards to this news?  I feel like crap.  I feel like we've been waiting for her to come home for so long, and we've put a multitude of other events/plans/ideas on hold so our family, with its newest member, could be adjusted before we shook things up with a trip, surgery, or big family event.  I feel like we are losing time with our daughter, time that would be better spent getting to know her, learning how to make her smile, watching her learn and grow, learning to trust one another and attach.  I'm starting to think that because we are a mellow, accommodating sort of people, that we're bending and swaying to everyone else's whim, without having a really clear idea of what will happen next.
I am starting to feel like an Ugly American...I want, in my heart, to jump on the next plane to Seoul and demand "my" baby.  I rationally understand that this cannot happen.  I know she is not our baby yet.  I am acutely aware of the process and procedure that must be followed to adopt a child.  I am also very aware that in the world of international adoption, five months is really not that long of a time to wait between referral and travel.  But.  All of that aside, the emotions we are going  through are honest and real, and they don't play by the rules of rationality. 
So, we wait.  In the meantime, we have potty training to undertake, lunch to prepare, playdates to attend, sunshine in which to play, and a house to keep clean.  We have wonderful friends and family to support us, and we have each other.  But what we really want, and really need, is for our daughter (to-be) to come home.  Because we're tired of feeling like crap.