Letters from Korea

As most of you know Sara and her mother are currently in Korea to get our baby girl and bring her home. Sara asked me (her husband) to do a guest post on her blog. My plan was to take some pictures of Harry and I and let everyone know what we were up to while Mom was overseas. Sara, rightly so, took the 'good' camera to Korea with her (including the rechargeable batteries). So, as I result, I was left with a camera whose focus and zoom is not functioning properly and can take about 4 pictures with a fresh set of non-rechargeable batteries. So, sorry no pictures of Harry today. I have talked to Sara a couple of times very briefly over the last couple of days. She sent me the e-mail below today and I think you'll find it far more interesting than anything I might have had to say about my weekend at home. 
 
Hi Hon!
It is almost five thirty in the morning here, and I cannot sleep so I thought I would be productive and send you an e-mail.  I hope things at home are going well.  I miss you guys so much!
I know I didn't get to tell you very much over the phone...I was worried about running out of money on the phone card before saying goodbye and I love you.  We had to buy phone cards because mom could not get hers to work.  They are 5,000 won for about five minutes...that's a little over five dollars.  Also, there is a home for unwed, pregnant mothers here and one of the mothers was sitting in the chair next to me waiting for the phone, and she was crying.  I was very distracted by her sadness (although I don't know why she was crying).  Our room is next to Sharon's Home, which is the part of Eastern for unwed mothers.  We see the women in the halls, in the kitchen, etc.  They sound very happy for the most part, laughing and smiling and picking on each other. 
Being here brings the emotion of all aspects of the adoption to the forefront of my mind, and combining that with jet lag and homesickness had kept me very close to tears so far.  I am ok, but it is so very hard to see a crying birthmother, an overwhelmingly sad foster mother. 
Yesterday we met with the secretary of Eastern (I forgot her name) and paid for our room and I filled out the escort paperwork.  She gave us Hee Seon's visa paperwork and passport.  It is a big packet pf papers, about 1/2 inch thick, that she will need to enter the USA.  Then we went upstairs and met with Hee Seon's and her foster mother, and Hee Seon's social worker was there to translate for us.  Hee Seon is just beautiful, as in takes-your-breath-away beautiful.  Immediately her foster mother was in tears, and the social worker explained to us that she was happy and relieved to see us so happy, and of course sad that Hee Seon will be leaving this week.  Her FM joked later on that her whole family loves Hee Seon so much that she and her daughter had joked about running away with her and hiding.  It is a huge understatement to say that she has been loved...there are four photo albums, each beginning inscribed with the words "Hee Seon, I love you" in English and in Hangul.  The pictures are labeled, beginning with her first days in their home all the way up until April 7!  There are pictures with each member of their immediate family, and also with their Aunt.  And the gifts she sent for us and for Emma!  Oh my!  The hanbok is beautiful...it looks like she had one specially made for her.  There is also a crocheted hat for Harrison (I don't know if it will fit on his head though), an art piece that she made in a traditional method of Harrison and Emma sitting under a tree...very lovely as well.  There are gifts for us, more pictures of her (studio type), and a formal family photograph that was taken around Hee Seon's 100 day anniversary. 
Our daughter is precious.  Her smile melts your heart, and when she laughs she smiles and then ducks her head, which is beyond cute.  We sat in the meeting room, which is in the same room where the pictures of Harrison were taken when Cecilia visited him.  I recognized the rug immediately.  There is an upper level to the room where the rug is, and the SW, FM, and I sat on the rug with Hee Seon and played with her.  She came right to me and checked me out....touched my face, played with my hair, smiled when I made clucking noises at her.  She seems very easygoing and cuddly.  She is not very big at all...we need not have worried.  I think she is shorter than Isabelle, and not as plump, although she does seem well filled out.  She has a little bit of hair that is wispy soft like Harry's, and I imagine it would stick straight up from her head if there was not baby oil/lotion in it to keep it down.  Her stork bite marks on her face have faded almost completely, and the FM said that they are slightly more visible when she is very cold or very hot.  She said she also gets red marks on her skin in the bath (maybe like your hives?) because of dry skin, so she needs lots of lotion.  FM said she is very happy and easygoing, a very good advanced baby.  She rolls over, is starting to sit up on her own as of last week, and tries to crawl but has not been able to yet.  I gave the FM her gifts-she loved the necklace and put it on right away- and she went through the photo album I put together.  She commented on our houseplants, and I noticed that in her pictures she has many houseplants too.  She was amazed by how much Harry looks like Emma, and touched his face in the picture and said he is very handsome.  We talked about our families, what Hee Seon likes, and how long she has been a FM...Hee Seon is her fifth baby.  She will likely get another baby on Wednesday, or by the end of the week at the latest.  They like to give them another baby right away to help ease their sadness over saying goodbye.  The SW and FM left for a little bit to fill out the exit paperwork (remember the sheet we got for Harry that was typed with his bottle. bowel movement, etc, information?) and we were left with Hee Seon.  She was okay at first, and smiled when we played with her, but then she realized her omma was gone and she just cried and rubbed her eyes and looked around for her.  It was so hard, Brendan.  I was so torn.  I wanted to run out and find them so she would  not be sad, and at the same time I wanted to figure it out on my own, how to soothe her.  When they eventually came back her FM cried very hard, big huge tears, and walked into the corner to rock her.  I gave her a tissue and promised she would be happy with us.  I didn't know what else to do.  It turns out Hee Seon was late for her bottle, and once she got the bottle out (we must remember to call it mama) she settled down and smiled instantly.  She let me hold her again to feed her, and we (Emma and I) made very good eye contact, so she is not afraid of me at all.  She was sleepy and her FM needed to go, so we took a picture of the four of us and said goodbye.  Next we met with the elder Dr. Kim and had a cup of tea.  It was a nice meeting, and he is a very kind, warm, and amazing man.  His good work for children, unwed mothers, and the poor left me feeling like I am doing nothing with my life!  I gave him our donation, which he said they would use for the children who are handicapped.  It turns out I was supposed to give the donation to the younger Dr. Kim (who is 73), the president of ESWS.  Oops.  The secretary told him I gave our donation to the elder Dr. Kim, though.  We received gifts from both of them, autographed books, an ESWS bag, some literature about their facilities, etc.  The meeting with the younger Dr. Kim was difficult.  His English was not as good, and I think we had a little too much time for his usual spiel before lunch, so there were some awkward silences and efforts to kill time.  He did not join us for lunch, but we sat with the elder Dr Kim, and two other families.  Wade, Trish, and their kids Patrick and Marie are here from Minnesota (Minneapolis) on a homeland tour, and Shane and his wife (I missed her name) are here from Australia picking up their four month old daughter.  He is Irish, she is Australian, and they met in Canada.  We enjoyed the conversation very much.  Shane and his wife have waited 2 1/2 years for a referral...apparently in Australia it is a VERY long process, and when they asked how long we had waited I did not want to tell them.  They even voiced out loud that they may consider moving to the USA for awhile for their next adoption, if they can figure out how to work out the citizenship aspects.  I will never complain about the wait again, I promised them.  She said with the new regulations some couples will wait 3 1/2 years...I cannot imagine that.  The very thought of it makes me want to cry for them. 
After lunch (which was bibimbap, which was also what we had on the plane) we went to our room briefly before meeting Harry's FM.  We saw her in the hallway and she ran up the stairs to give us each a big hug.  Then we met with Harry's SW and she translated for us.  It was very hard to see her disappointment that Harry was not here, but she managed not to cry and we exchanged gifts and photos.  She loved all of the pictures, and said she thinks he has a stubborn set to his jaw (?).  I assured her that he is for the most part easygoing and funny and loveable, and that we adore him beyond measure.  She brought him art supplies, a book to color in, and Korean candy and treats (a huge box of goodies).  She said when he was a baby she would carry him in the podaegi and walk around outside, and he loved to be outdoors.  I told her he still does, and that he demands to go outside to play.  She liked the pictures of our house and yard, and was amazed at how many trees and how much green there was.  She does not watch babies right now because her Mother in law had been ill and she takes care of her, but soon they are moving to a new house and she will watch babies again.  Harry was her seventh baby, and she had five more after him.  The SW said that some women foster up to a hundred babies!!!  They truly love the babies, though, it was very obvious. 
After meeting Harry's FM we went for a walk.  I was emotionally overwhelmed and needed to get some air, so we adventured out and found a great little coffee shop.  Coffee never tasted so good!  We walked past a university where the soccer teams were practicing, and we got to see lots of cherry, magnolia, and almond (maybe??) trees in bloom.  Every spare section of earth here is planted with something lovely that blooms, forsythias, pansies, bamboo, etc.  I think your dad would be very surprised at how beautiful and clean the city is.  On our walk we passed no less than four men whose job it was to clean the street; they swept the sidewalks and picked up litter.  The city is very safe, and most people speak at least a little bit of English.  I wore a short sleeved shirt (it must have been at least 65 degrees yesterday) and got stares from almost everyone we passed.  The locals are bundled against the cold (?) with jackets, scarves, gloves, etc.  Harry's FM thought I must be cold and rubbed my arms, but I assured her that it feels very warm here to us.  After our walk we took a rest in our room (which is great, by the way...queen sized bed, our own bathroom with a very good shower, common kitchen with food across the hall).  After our rest we ventured out again for dinner.  We were also looking for Advil, as we are both very stiff and headachy, but we could not find anything that even resembled a painkiller.  We ate at the Outback Steakhouse (of which I am ashamed, but after the emotional upheaval of the day I needed to have something I recognized for dinner).  It was heavenly to eat steak, salad, and fries, but it was pricey at $30 for dinner.  Since that was all we spent on food that day I wasn't very worried about it, though.  After dinner I called you and then went to bed to read. 
Today I feel less jet lagged, and I am eager to do some sightseeing in another area of the city.  We are going to Insadong (a market with art and traditional crafts), Namdaemun market (where hanboks, tea sets, etc are sold) and a palace that is near both...I think it is Gaemduckgong palace, although I am sure I butchered that spelling.  We'll take the subway, which is quite conveniently located next to Dunkin Donuts, and I am not at all ashamed to need a good cup of coffee.  Our other coffee shop is in the other direction, otherwise we would go there again.  (we have had a lot of green tea here, but for some reason it all tastes like sesame oil to us....it is good, but I miss our tea from home, with sugar and cream).  I am trying hard not to think about the moment tomorrow when I will have to take our baby girl from the mother she has known and loved for seven months, and leave.  It is going to be very very hard, and I am certain that I will cry just as hard as they will. 
Oh, I forgot to tell you about getting here from the airport.  Our driver was great, and pointed out all kinds of points of interest.  Incheon is maybe an hour from Seoul, and it is on an island, so the drive to Eastern was very pretty.  It reminded me of Lake George, surrounded by very calm water and gentle, rolling hills.  Very beautiful.  We also passed the world cup stadium...there was a game that night so the traffic was wild, and there were little kids with soccer balls everywhere.  Opposite the stadium is world cup park, which was built in 2000, and is a lovely green space with walking trails and play equipment for children, and parts of it went along the water.  It was huge!
I guess that is all I have to report for now.  I think I need to find a cup of tea and take a shower.  We have to get an early start so we can be back by 4:00 for another meeting with our SW, who will give us Emma's travel bag of formula, diapers, etc.  I honestly don't know how we are going to get all of our stuff home...we may have to buy another piece of luggage!!!!  We are hoping to visit the Love the Children hospital after that meeting, and rock some of the new babies.  We heard them crying last night, that distinctive newborn cry, and it made me happy and sad at once.  Happy that Eastern is here, to offer support and a chance for these babies and their mothers (ESWS also offers financial and professional support to mothers who decide to keep their babies), and sad that so many will leave this country that I find so beautiful.  This trip has really changed my perspective of Korea, and someday I am going to insist that we come back.  Although I think we should stop and stay a few days halfway, because the flight was miserably hot and I thought I would die of claustrophobia about halfway here.  I am glad to have Emma on the way home to keep my mind on something else, and I think our seating arrangement will be much better, too. 
Anyway, I love you and miss you terribly.  In less than 48 hours I will be home with our baby daughter, and life will resume some sort of normalcy.  I miss Harry, too...please give him a big hug and kiss for me!  I will call you again tonight (your morning) and tell you about my day.  I'll try not to hang up crying this time.  I love you!
-Sara