An evening in, with speculations

So, what do parents of an almost two year old do on New Year's Eve?  Well, so far they put the boy to bed, each find a computer, and spend awhile looking around the internets for items of interest.  When that gets old they'll watch a movie or two while enjoying some fine boxed wine, and when the ball finally drops perhaps they'll have a piece of New Year Birthday Cake washed down with cheap champagne, and call it a night.  It's not a glamorous life, but we like it just fine.  And just so you know, we had options.  We could have gone out...we even had an offer to babysit...but we just didn't feel like it.  Staying in felt cozy and good after a week of running around and endless visiting.
While strolling about the Internet this fine evening, I happened across the USCIS website (what, you don't regularly check out US Immigration and Naturalization Services' website?  You're sooo out of the loop!).  While there I checked to see what dates the Albany suboffice is processing  through for I-600 applications...if you'll remember, that is our application for Emma's VISA.  September 14, 2006, is the current date they are processing.  When I checked a few weeks ago they were processing through August 14th, which leads me to believe that they take about a month to process a month's worth of applications, and they are currently 3 months behind.  This is not necessarily a happy deduction, as we did not apply for the I-600 until November 4.  If my calculations and speculations are correct, this means that we will not have VISA approval until maybe the beginning of February. 
With Harrison's adoption we applied for the I-600 on 4/21/05, received approval on 6/11/05, and he arrived  on 7/26/05.  That's 21 days from I-600 application to approval, and then another 45 days until his arrival, bringing the whole process to about 66 days.  Now, if I am right that the USCIS is roughly three months behind in their work, and working with the idea that they will not catch up (c'mon, this is a government. bureaucracy we're talking about) then if we get her VISA approval on February 4 that will have been 93 days since we applied for it.  If she follows Harry's lead and arrives 45 days after VISA approval that means she might be home on March 21, the vernal equinox.  That is 80 days from now. 
Of course, all of this is subject to a million influences, including but not limited to: US government bureaucracies, Korean government agencies, Korean adoption agencies, our adoption agency, etc.  This fancy math makes me realize that I have to stop focusing my energy and hope on a February arrival.  It's most likely not going to happen, and even March is a long shot.  April is much more likely.  In April Emma will be 8 months old.  We were so hoping to have her home by six months of age, when attachment and bonding are still issues, but less so.  I was hoping to once again have an infant (or rather, have one for the first time...new readers probably don't realize that 5.5 month old Harry arrived crawling at full throttle, cruising along furniture, and eating solids).  Whenever she makes her debut, Emma will be loved and cherished and adored by all of us...but it really wouldn't be so bad for her to arrive early, would it?
Enough speculation already.  Have a happy New Year.  Be safe, and enjoy whatever merry traditions you choose to partake of.  See you in '07.

Accident Prone

Happy Holidays, from our house to yours! 
In lieu of the lovely 'thankful for our blessings' post I had planned for Christmas this year, which somehow fell off my to-do list, I present you with "Holiday Blunders and Fun, 2006".
On Christmas Eve, whilst the Sullivan Humans were enjoying festivities away from home, the Sullivan Canines were busily eating the Christmas presents we had so carefully laid out to be wrapped.  We arrived home, our hearts full of cheer and our arms full of sleepy toddler, to a house strewn with soggy bits of wrapping detritus, a beheaded bird ornament, partially chewed spice jars, and a paring knife with suspiciously arranged tooth marks.  It was Christmas Eve, the stores were closed, and our pups were looking quite sheepish.  So we put the boy to bed, picked up the mess, and in a moment of true Christmas spirit we did not kill our dogs.  Instead we dug their crates out of the dark corners of our basement, set them up in our bedroom, and decided we need to go back to square one with their training.  If you can't teach an old dog new tricks, let's hope you can refresh an old dog's memory of the house rules. 
We had a lovely Christmas, and it was a joy to see Harrison opening the gifts we had so carefully chosen for him.  Santa was downplayed, and judging by the oohs and ahhhs he emitted Harrison really appreciated each bit of wrapping, each pretty bow, each cardboard box, and, of course, each toy.  After our leisurely morning at home we were off to visit Harry's three sets of Grandparents where he was equally spoiled.  He had the chance to play with cousins Casey and Brian, who were very entertaining and allowed Brendan and I to relax as they chased Little Mr. Busy around. 
On Thursday, after much research and consideration, we decided to return my new digital camera that Brendan had given me for Christmas (mostly due to its sluggishness in taking pictures).  I gathered up the packaging for the camera, and remembered to delete the photos I had taken on the camera's internal memory.  As I watched it deleting I realized it was taking too long, then realized that the memory card (from our other camera) was in it, and that I had just deleted ALL of our Christmas photos.  I am not a technological genius by any means, and this proves it.
Later that day Brendan's brother, Mike, came over with his kids Maggie and Quinn.  Harry loves seeing them, and after lunch and an hour of play we settled the kids down for a movie, rather than try to get them to nap.  During the movie I snuck out to visit my Grandmother and help her with a few things.  I climbed into our new car, backed out of our garage as usual, and promptly smashed into my brother-in-law's car.  Yeah.  The worst part is that when I got out to check for damage I didn't see any, so I continued on to Grandma's, returning later in the day to confess my boo boo.  Only then did Mike and Brendan go out to look at the cars and discovered the smashed tail light and small dent in Mike's car.  To his credit, Mike was very gracious and let me off the hook with minimal teasing.
Today we had a babysitter for four hours.  Four Hours!!! Brendan and I started to work on some projects we've been meaning to get to.  Brendan ripped up and replaced treads and risers on our basement stairs, and I began painting our bedroom.  From the very first stroke of my paintbrush the color looked perfect.  It is exactly the right shade, it was covering well (maybe I won't have to do a dreaded second coat) and things were generally serendipitous.  That is, until I misstepped on my way down the ladder,started to fall, and tried to catch myself by jumping to the floor with my right foot, which landed in the paint bucket, which flew into the air and landed in my lap covering me from the thighs down with paint, which then gushed onto the carpet and drop cloth.  And for about the thousandth time since we bought it I thanked the heavens that we own a steam vacuum. 
With three days of vacation left I am wondering what other calamity might befall us.  If nothing else, it keeps life interesting.  I hope your holidays were as lovely as ours, if less accidental.

Say cheese: Outtakes

You may be thinking that in the whirl of excitement that Emma brought we have entirely forgotten to take pictures of our wee lad.  This is not the case.  I have oodles of pictures...of the back of his head, his feet running out of the frame, and his hands over his face.  He is almost two, you know, and at almost two children do not quite hold still anymore. 
 
From these photos you can see that he has finally grown some hair...in fact it needs to be cut. 
How do I capture such lovely out-takes?  I ask Harrison to smile and say cheese.  He shouts cheese, smiles and ducks out of the way of the offending camera, only the back of his head or his feet left for the taking. 



Once in awhile Harrison stops moving long enough to look at the camera straight on and we get a great shot of him.   Here are a few from the past month or two:

The waiting game

The process of international adoption is just that, a PROCESS.  While it has profound and beautiful moments, it doesn't really come with a lot of frills and romance.  It does come with a lot of paperwork, appointments, notarizations, and overnight mailings.  It comes with a lot of unknowns and a lot of waiting.  It is not for the impatient, faint of heart, or hopelessly emotional.   It takes strength, trust, the ability to cling to hope, and an optimistic outlook. 
We're at what I consider to be the hardest part of the adoption process. We're waiting.  And waiting.  And.  Waiting.  We don't know when our baby will come home and we don't know when we'll get more news about her.  We know she's out there.  We've seen her lovely face and toes and hands, and we know she is receiving good care from people who no doubt love her very much.  We just don't know any more than that.
And that fact, the fact that we know no more, slowly eats away at me. 
I am a list maker.  I make all kinds of lists of things to do, things to read, things to see, and things to get.  I love the first parts of adoption, where there is a clear goal and a list of tasks to take me from Point A to Point B.  Fill out applications...check!  Notarize documents...check!  Send family photos...check!  Accept referral of beautiful baby girl...check!
But now, when I most need it, there is no list.  Nothing to do, nothing to check off.  Nothing I can physically do to get her any closer to us.  Everything we need to do is complete, and the remaining tasks are in the hands of impartial bureaucracies who have a million other things to do.
This is also the stage of the process when people start to ask more about news of Emma.  And while we love that they ask, because it makes it clear to us that she holds a place in their thoughts and hearts, it also gets very hard to repeat for the hundredth time "No, no news.  We probably won't have any until her travel call".  I liken it to someone being lost at sea...the case is highly publicized and it would be all over the news if any changes had come to the case, but you still feel the need to ask the family "Have you heard anything?"  So if you do see us and you ask us about Emma, don't feel badly if our faces fall just a little as we respond.  It's not that we're sad, or that we've lost hope.  It's just that this process that is adoption leaves us hanging just a little at this stage. 
And suddenly in just months, we'll get a phone call that will put us into the fast-forward mode, and it will be all over the (figurative) news that our baby is on her way. 

The waiting is the hardest part.

What you didn't know about your tree

On the news this morning I watched as a Christmas tree went up in flames and torched a living room in 6 seconds.  6.  Seconds.  No time to react, no time to reach for the fire extinguisher, barely time to gather the kids/pets and get the heck out.  I pass this on to you as a public service announcement.  Turn off your tree lights at night, make sure you check the water regularly, and for goodness' sake turn off the lights when you leave the house. 
Also of interesting note in the news piece about trees was the danger in artificial trees with metallic accent (foil needles).  You should not use electrical lights on this type of tree, experts warn, because the entire tree (or at least its metallic parts) could become electrically charged.  Please, let's not electrocute ourselves this Christmas.  This is for you, C & B. 

Bah...hurry up

Where are you Christmas?  Why can't I find you?
The Christmas spirit is eluding me this year.  I know I should be enjoying Harry's second holiday season...baking cookies, singing carols, watching the snow fall, and shopping with a perpetual smile and a feeling of goodwill in my heart.  But for some reason it just isn't happening for me.  Bah. 
Don't get me wrong - I have been doing plenty of shopping, complete with impulse buys of things we absolutely do not need.  I have made my lists and checked them 24,000 times.  In fact, I am almost done with my shopping.  So that can't be it.
As for the cookie baking, Brendan and I are having a weight loss challenge and I'm not going to blow it by making yummy treats so that I can sit here all day and feel them staring me down, calling to me in their saccharine little voices.  He has it easy, as far as I am concerned, as he sits at a desk in the middle of nowhere all day, while I am at home or shopping with a world of food at my fingertips.  Self control, thou art not mine.
I have been listening to carols.  Jingle bells, old Saint Nick, deck the halls and all of that.  Still not feeling the cheer.  On a side note, however, Harrison thinks it is super fun when Mom breaks into song along with the carols, and he gives me standing ovations, complete with enthusiastic clapping.  And for the first time in a year and a half I am wondering if he should have his hearing checked.
Do you want to know the real reasons for the noncheer?  Brendan has been stuck working long shifts (10 hour days that become 12 hour days when you add in his commute), seven days a week.  He will have this weekend off, but after that it's back to the hell schedule until Christmas.  I know we're lucky that he has a good job, and I am ever-so-thankful for the overtime pay as it will greatly help with our adoption costs.  BUT.  I am also having a panic attack every day at around 4:00p.pm., wondering how the heck I'll make it through the next two hours as Harrison repeats until he cries "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy...:  It breaks my heart, it breaks Brendan's heart, and if I am being completely honest it hurts just a little bit that he never chants for me.  But why would he?  I am glued to him 24/7.  (breathe in, breathe out...mental note to self - make plans to take a class or something!)
The other, more encompassing reason is that I just want the holidays to be over with so that it can be 2007 and our daughter can travel.  I know I shouldn't wish time away, but if you have never had to wait for a baby, who you know is laughing and cooing and growing up in someone else's arms, then you have never experienced this particular brand of hell.  It is not fun.  It makes me nervous, anxious, and impatient like nothing else in life.  It is like looking through a lens that is out of focus.  When we waited for Harry it was the same; the world was a very blurry place until he was handed to us, and then it was as though someone turned the lens and it all became clear.  We're back in the blur right now, and I want to be seeing clearly in the worst way.  Bear with me, as I try to bear with myself.
Oh, and worry not that Harrison isn't going to have a good Christmas because of my mood.  He's going to be spoiled silly, and there will be magic and cheer as needed when the time comes.  We're getting our tree this weekend.  Nothing says Peace on Earth like executing an evergreen.  I'm rotten.  Sorry.

What's that you say?

Harrison is quite suddenly a chatterbox.  Much like a mocking bird, he follows me around all day repeating little snippets of my conversations.  As he says more and more his pronunciation is improving, but let's just say it's not quite clear yet.  Most people listening to him have no idea what he's saying, but as his mom and #1 companion (sorry B, it's only based on amount of hours spent together) I can understand more than the naked ear hears.  Following are some funny mispronunciations:
Peace out = pees out (we're potty training, of course)
Knowing = snowing
Emma and Elmo are interchangeable...I think H thinks he's getting an Elmo, rather than a little sister named Emma.  I see rude awakenings in your future, my son.
All trucks, snowblowers, helicopters, and lawn mowers are grouped into the category fondly referred to as "tractor".
The monkey formerly known as Curious George now goes simply by "Curious" in this household. 
Whim = swim
Moo = milk (how very appropriate, don't you think?)

Is that thunder?

Yes, indeed.  There is an electrical storm going on outside my window, on this first day of December.  The lights, they are flickering and I am hoping that we don't lose power as the temperature has dropped about 50 degrees in the last few hours.  We're supposed to have a nasty wind, lightning, and snow storm this evening, extending until noon tomorrow. 
I must go prepare the candles and Kerosene heaters, just in case.  And try to detach the H man from my legs.