Tomorrow begins a new year, so it only makes sense to do the blog recap thing as we say so long to 2008. So, in no particular order of importance, in 2008...
...Harrison turned three and finally potty trained.
...Emma learned how to run and was finally able to sort of keep up with her big brother.
...Brendan nearly completed our swimming pool deck before the snow began to fly, with much help in the form of manual labor and moral support from our families. Big thanks to everyone for pitching in!
...Max the Rabbit left us, leaving a hole in our hearts that was formerly filled with his funny bunny ways. You are fondly remembered, Max.
...I started to learn to play the guitar and someday I hope to be able to play something without looking at my hands.
...Harrison got his first two wheel bike and after two days of riding declared that he was ready for us to remove the training wheels. We told him that he might be ready, but we are not. And that is the truth.
...We took a lovely family vacation at Lapland Lake for the second year in a row and vowed to return again in 2009.
...I lost my Grandma and somehow manage to smile every time I think of her, despite being overwhelmingly sad that she is gone.
...Emma turned two and FINALLY started using words and sentences! Hooray for big leaps in development!
...Harrison started preschool and thrived on the structure of it all, leaving Emma and I to our own devices for seven hours a week. It's been lovely getting to know my daughter, and lovelier still knowing that Harrison is socially and developmentally on target with his peers.
...Brendan got an iTouch for Christmas and was never heard from again. Just kidding. But he is quite enamored of his new technology, as well as the cool factor that goes along with it.
...I ran my first 5k, the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Albany, NY. It was a completely humbling yet life-affirming experience and I cannot wait to start training for the race this spring. I ran for our lost school-mate, Lisa Joseph, and my mom's friend, Tonya Markham.
...We made the best purchase for our house ever when we got a woodstove. I am sitting beside it right now, all toasty warm and cozy.
...We finalized Emma's adoption, becoming an official family of four!
...We celebrated with numerous family and friends as babies were born and other adoptions were finalized. It is so much fun to see other families growing!
...We drank a lot of tea. Which we always do, but we drink so much that it is certainly worthy of mention.
We won some, we lost some. We laughed and cried, we spent happy days and frustrated days, we wished some days away and hoped others would stretch on forever. And now, sitting here on this last night of the year it seems as though all of it, all of those millions of moments, went by in a flash. I can honestly say that I am looking forward to 2009 and all that it may, or may not, bring. I am looking forward with great hopes for our families, friends, country, and world.
Wishing you and yours a very happy, safe, and peaceful New Year!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Today Is A New Day
When our son, Harrison, was two he stood up on the changing table one day and declared “Today is a new day!” in a voice both loud and clear, full of the self-confidence and anything-is-possible optimism of toddlerhood. The words were not his own original thoughts, of course, but were a quote from his then-favorite movie, Chicken Little. In the movie Chicken Little is a misunderstood little fellow who can’t seem to catch a break, but he wakes in the morning with a can-do attitude, declaring “Today is a new day!” with great enthusiasm.
I love the memory of Harrison’s borrowed declaration that day. Recalling the sound of those ideas spilling forth from his tiny mouth and young mind has a way of filling me with new optimism, a dose of Chicken Little enthusiasm, and renewed hope. And really, today is a new day for our family. We’ve moved beyond the family building and adjustment phases of parenthood (for now, anyway) and into a more settled period of maintaining our solid family unit, growing in traditions and memories instead of babies and new beds.
While we still think about the process of building a family through adoption a great deal (and I am fairly convinced that we’re not done yet), our focus has shifted more to the parenting side of the equation. We now spend a great deal of our time thinking about school systems, diversity, ethics, the effects of racism, and ways in which to raise our children to be good citizens of the earth.
More personally, my focus has shifted to thinking and writing about what my life looks like as the mother of young children rather than infants and toddlers, and how it might change again once my children are away at school all day instead of at home entertaining me. As the full-on neediness of my children wanes, my interests are pulling me once again to crafting and arts, to volunteer work, to advocacy for those whose voices have a hard time being heard, and to the environment. It feels a little like I am rejoining the world after living in the bubble of my children’s babyhood for several (blissful, challenging, fun-filled, thoroughly enjoyed) years.
Harrison and Emma are growing and changing, too. With the introduction of school and social groups, their lives have taken new directions and new meanings, and I will be sure to keep you updated on their funny little quirks and personalities.
We hope you’ll stick around for the next segment of the adventure, where the Sullivan Family News breaks forth into a new day.
I love the memory of Harrison’s borrowed declaration that day. Recalling the sound of those ideas spilling forth from his tiny mouth and young mind has a way of filling me with new optimism, a dose of Chicken Little enthusiasm, and renewed hope. And really, today is a new day for our family. We’ve moved beyond the family building and adjustment phases of parenthood (for now, anyway) and into a more settled period of maintaining our solid family unit, growing in traditions and memories instead of babies and new beds.
While we still think about the process of building a family through adoption a great deal (and I am fairly convinced that we’re not done yet), our focus has shifted more to the parenting side of the equation. We now spend a great deal of our time thinking about school systems, diversity, ethics, the effects of racism, and ways in which to raise our children to be good citizens of the earth.
More personally, my focus has shifted to thinking and writing about what my life looks like as the mother of young children rather than infants and toddlers, and how it might change again once my children are away at school all day instead of at home entertaining me. As the full-on neediness of my children wanes, my interests are pulling me once again to crafting and arts, to volunteer work, to advocacy for those whose voices have a hard time being heard, and to the environment. It feels a little like I am rejoining the world after living in the bubble of my children’s babyhood for several (blissful, challenging, fun-filled, thoroughly enjoyed) years.
Harrison and Emma are growing and changing, too. With the introduction of school and social groups, their lives have taken new directions and new meanings, and I will be sure to keep you updated on their funny little quirks and personalities.
We hope you’ll stick around for the next segment of the adventure, where the Sullivan Family News breaks forth into a new day.
Race and Adoption
The Anti-Racist Parent linked to a great post about racial hierarchy in adoption by Our Life. You should read it. We all should.
Friday, December 5, 2008
They Make Me Smile
I am buckling Harry into his carseat after picking him up from school. It's a sunny, crisp day, and a streak of sunlight glares into my eyes as I reach for his seatbelt. He puts his hand on my cheek and says "Stop a minute. I love your beautiful eyes, Mommy. I like the brown in them.” He pats my cheek and releases me, goes back to being the stinker he is so good at being at age three, and I am left in the wake of his wonderfulness.
We are cuddling on the couch, Emma and Mom both in need of a good, long nap. She puts her little hand on my chest and pats me, saying “You good girl, Mommy. You good girl.”
Emma loves pizza. Her favorite kind? “Peppa. Whoa-knee.” That’s two words.
Harrison gathers his comfy kit after school: the pillow from his bed, a soft fuzzy blanket, and an assortment of stuffed animals, anywhere between 2 and 12 of them. He gets cozy, looks at me across the room with sleepy eyes, and tells me about his gym class with Ms. Sarah. “She’s Ms. Sarah, just like you, Mommy! Only she’s not you, and she doesn’t look like you, and she doesn’t sound like you, and she’s not you, right? But she’s nice. We played a turkey game today. She put those things on the floor….what are they called? Um, bean bags. Yes, that’s it. The bean bags were turkey food. They were all over the floor and we had to pick them up.” I ask him if they were pretending to be turkeys and he says: “No, Mom, you’re the turkey.” And then he fell asleep.
Emma is talking more and more these days and her independence streak continues to amaze us. She insists on getting herself dressed every day and lately has even wanted to pick out her own outfits. Today I tried to put a certain pair of pants on her, which she wrinkled her nose at and said “NO, Mama! Pants not pretty. These pants pretty.” And so she wore the other pants, which are, in fact, much prettier than the pair I had picked out.
I was sick with an earache yesterday and we went to the grocery store pharmacy to get my prescription filled. Harry came to sit with me while I waited and he found a magazine on the table next to his seat. “Here, Mom. A Ladies’ magazine. Maybe you’d like to read it to keep yourself busy while we wait. It might be awhile.” Sometimes I have to remind myself that he’s only three.
We are cuddling on the couch, Emma and Mom both in need of a good, long nap. She puts her little hand on my chest and pats me, saying “You good girl, Mommy. You good girl.”
Emma loves pizza. Her favorite kind? “Peppa. Whoa-knee.” That’s two words.
Harrison gathers his comfy kit after school: the pillow from his bed, a soft fuzzy blanket, and an assortment of stuffed animals, anywhere between 2 and 12 of them. He gets cozy, looks at me across the room with sleepy eyes, and tells me about his gym class with Ms. Sarah. “She’s Ms. Sarah, just like you, Mommy! Only she’s not you, and she doesn’t look like you, and she doesn’t sound like you, and she’s not you, right? But she’s nice. We played a turkey game today. She put those things on the floor….what are they called? Um, bean bags. Yes, that’s it. The bean bags were turkey food. They were all over the floor and we had to pick them up.” I ask him if they were pretending to be turkeys and he says: “No, Mom, you’re the turkey.” And then he fell asleep.
Emma is talking more and more these days and her independence streak continues to amaze us. She insists on getting herself dressed every day and lately has even wanted to pick out her own outfits. Today I tried to put a certain pair of pants on her, which she wrinkled her nose at and said “NO, Mama! Pants not pretty. These pants pretty.” And so she wore the other pants, which are, in fact, much prettier than the pair I had picked out.
I was sick with an earache yesterday and we went to the grocery store pharmacy to get my prescription filled. Harry came to sit with me while I waited and he found a magazine on the table next to his seat. “Here, Mom. A Ladies’ magazine. Maybe you’d like to read it to keep yourself busy while we wait. It might be awhile.” Sometimes I have to remind myself that he’s only three.
Happy Birthday, Frances
My grandmother would have been 88 today. This is the first time December 5th has passed in my lifetime without her and I find myself missing her awfully lately. A thousand times a day I think of something to ask her: where did she get those great twirly chairs, which are now in my loft, that Beth and I used to spin ourselves sick on in her living room? What does she think of the new president elect? What lessons from the Great Depression, which encompassed her childhood, are the most important to remember and bring back now that we’re possibly heading into that sort of economic climate again? What was her very favorite Christmas cookie? What were the holidays like for her as a child? How did she ever manage to raise five daughters and still look both elegant and put together in every photograph I have seen of her? If she could have lived anywhere in the world where would she live? How do I make braided rugs? Where does one buy corn toasties? I start for the phone a few times a week with her phone number rolling through my head, my fingers just about to graze the receiver when I realize that I cannot call her anymore. I regret, so deeply, all of the times I thought to call her, but didn’t, when I still could have.
Despite this ache of missing her, I sometimes get the strangest sense that she is here, that if I could catch the light at a certain angle I would be able to see her sitting at my table sipping cup of hot black coffee, and if I close my eyes I can hear her laugh as clearly as if she really were right here. With all that we do not know about death, it seems perfectly plausible to me that a woman known for her stubbornness in life would find a way for her energy to stick around those she loved in death, if that was what she wanted. Maybe that isn’t the case, but the thought that it could possibly be brings me great comfort in her physical absence. I hope, wherever her spirit has gone, that she can feel the love I have for her, today and every day. If she could read this she would give me that certain look, both pleased and embarrassed, and she would say “Oh, Sara” in a tone that belied both her love and her tendency to reprimand us when we were being good by doing something nice for her. I miss that, so much.
Despite this ache of missing her, I sometimes get the strangest sense that she is here, that if I could catch the light at a certain angle I would be able to see her sitting at my table sipping cup of hot black coffee, and if I close my eyes I can hear her laugh as clearly as if she really were right here. With all that we do not know about death, it seems perfectly plausible to me that a woman known for her stubbornness in life would find a way for her energy to stick around those she loved in death, if that was what she wanted. Maybe that isn’t the case, but the thought that it could possibly be brings me great comfort in her physical absence. I hope, wherever her spirit has gone, that she can feel the love I have for her, today and every day. If she could read this she would give me that certain look, both pleased and embarrassed, and she would say “Oh, Sara” in a tone that belied both her love and her tendency to reprimand us when we were being good by doing something nice for her. I miss that, so much.
Confessions
I haven't made anything in awhile. Oh, I knitted a bit and sewed some, but nothing that came even close to completion. Our household descended into sickness again, this time the women took the toll. Emma had pink eye, which is more of a nuisance than anything but does require one to become a bit of a germ-o-phobe, and I had a raging ear infection that had me up all night crying for my mommy...literally. Poor Brendan lugged me off to the doctor yesterday and I was promptly prescribed a round of antibiotics and given orders to increase my fluid intake by...let's just say a lot. Apparently copious amounts of coffee and tea don't count? The antibiotics began their magic around 3am this morning and the crashing pain in my ears finally subsided so that I could get some much-needed sleep. The worst of the pain could have been avoided if I had listened to my loving husband and my body a few days earlier and lugged myself to the doctor the first day I noticed that my glands were swollen and it hurt to yawn. But no, I am stubborn and silly and not very good at taking care of myself when I really need to. I'll work on that. I also have to confess that a lot of my time lately has been spent playing with new wallets, guitars, HEXBUGs, and more, which have been arriving at our mailbox for the past two weeks so that I can review them for our friend, Tony's, website: http://www.blogger.com/www.qwowi.com Come on over and see what we're up to...we're having a blast! Today I will be spending the afternoon watching puffy little snowflakes fall outside our windows while we make cookies for a swap party tomorrow and when the kids go down for their nap I am going to finish sewing the baby carrier I started for a friend of a friend. It will be late for her baby shower, but I am hoping it will arrive before the baby. All of this to say that I was crazy, or at least delusional, to think that I would be able to make a complete project every day at this time of year when my life already has a large list of "must-do"s. I'll post when I do complete something, but I think I'll hold off on the every day idea until a more sane, less ill time of year.
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