Chut-tol

In Korea, the first birthday (tol=birthday, chut-tol=first birthday) is the most celebrated day in a young child's life. The hugeness of the celebration stems from the fact that in its not-so-distant history, babies in Korea often did not live to see their first birthday. Infant mortality rates were very high due to poor diet, lack of medicine, etc. While times have changed in South Korea (in fact, their medical standards are now on par with the US), the child's first birthday is still a large celebration. You can read more about the tol ceremony here: http://lifeinkorea.com/culture/tol/tol.cfm

Harrison is about to turn a year old, and we are in the midst of planning his chut-tol celebration. We hope to have Korean food for our family to try, and we plan to have a toljabee ceremony, in which Harrison will choose items from a table to predict his future occupation/fortune. He will also wear his hanbok (traditional Korean clothing) which arrived with him in July, and was purchased for him by his foster family in Korea. We will take lots of photos of him, and we're planning to send some along to his foster family so they can see how handsome he is, how well he's doing, and how much we all love him. We are so looking forward to this day...there was a time when we didn't know if we would ever become parents, and now, as we approach our son's first birthday, life is just so good and so happy! He is a treasure. Sometimes I literally pinch myself to make sure it's real, and when he naps I sometimes peek at him to make sure he's still there. I wonder if I will always do this.

While I think about how blessed we are to be celebrating our son's first birthday I also think of his birthmother. I wonder about her...I think about her every day. I wonder where she is, what she is doing, if she's ok, and how her life is now. Now that I am a mother, I know how great her sacrifice was, and how brave she must have been to make an adoption plan for her baby. Without knowing her, I have a great love for her...I know letting him go must have been the hardest thing she ever did, and sometimes it bothers me that what might have been her worst moments brought us our greatest joy. I feel so connected to her, a woman I have never met, and I hope that her life is on a good path. I will be saying special prayers for her on February 13 and I hope she knows, that she can feel across the great distance that divides us, how much Brendan and I love the son we share with her.